Cluttered Victory! (part 1 of many parts that will come as life moves on!)
At 26 (almost 27), I finally see some things that I have been in need of seeing. Not that I am or have ever been a hoarder but I found myself buying things just because I thought they were cute or that I just wanted them…. But with months gone by I haven’t used them. Now I am wanting to throw them away, I really have no need for them nor do I care to wear them anymore but why at the moment of purchasing them did I have that “desirable need” feeling, that there was some kind of fulfillment in having it, when in fact it just added to the rest of my clutter and disarray of our growing household. Blah….. BLAH BLAH BLAH!! I hate it, I hate when I finally come to grips seeing myself and the worthless place I’ve come too, When allowing the things I have to become more important then the relationship I have with my Husband, my children and most importantly my Heavenly Father Yahweh and Yahushua His Son!! Today is a hard, yet a super overwhelming blessing of a day. A day where I feel Freedom, I feel that the things I have no longer tell me of who I am. That’s it….. I am not the things I have! I am seeing how cluttered my heart and home have been…. And let me tell ya, I live in a small house and the things may not seem very numerous to you but oh how they have consumed my daily life, where all I am doing is keeping up with the things I have. Did you just read that statement…. I have come to realize that the things I have make up my day, and I know if I skip one day fixing or cleaning or or or or or or … (sigh). Hmm.. hahaha. Let’s just say it takes me a while to get it back to order.
As I write you I feel like a changing woman. Not that it is going to be easy fighting against my flesh desire to keep the things I haven’t worn or used in the last six months or a year or ten years. But I guess my thought is if I haven’t used them and haven’t worn them then why do I need them… they don’t make my life easier just add more clutter and dirt. For example: I have a shirt that I have held onto for 10 years…. I have worn it maybe 5 times in those ten years. I held onto it cause it was pretty and then I gained weight and wanted it to be my goal to get back into, well I can wear it now but it still hangs there (Praise YAH! It is now in the pile along with other clothes that will be leaving my home and going to someone who will actually wear and be thankful for them) to me that is victory! May seem silly but oh how good it feels to look at my closet and know that I have worn these cloths the last few weeks. Not “oh I think I wore that a year ago?…” he he.
Now I am not saying you can’t have things or enjoy things or be blessed with things. It’s just the question of what really matters and what is the point of it, will it help you or will it own you!?!? I want to free up some of this time I seem to spend by just cleaning what I own, to devote to more needed area’s in my life like my children, my Husband, music and YAHWEH! It’s not easy to face everyday knowing or feeling like you’re never going to get ahead. I know that through Yahushua, I will! It may take time, but He’s never forsaken me yet…. I know it is just getting better! HALLELUYAH!!
Anywho… that is my story, my excited story about overcoming me and the victory I am beginning to see in the cluttered little house on the (soon to be) Iowa Tundra…. Hahahahah. Shalom!
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